Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Bags Packed


I told the nurse, I told her about the abuse and she actually wanted to help me.  I had an overwhelming rise of emotions that caused me to breakdown and spill my guts about the horror story my life has become.  She called one of her friends to pick me up tomorrow morning and take me to a bus station in San Antonio.  I am terrified.  What if he catches me?  What if one of his friends sees me?  I can’t even imagine what he would do to me if he knew I was leaving.  I have been trembling in fear ever since I left the appointment. 


I am also worried about what people in our town will think of me for coming home.  I know my father will welcome me but life will be so different now that I have Juan Pedrito and a baby on the way.  Do you think people will think that I am a failure because I did not “stick” by my husband’s side?  If they only knew what I have been through…

Love,
Cleofílas



Juan Pedrito was playing with my camera as I was packing our bags... He does not understand what is going on.  

Friday, January 27, 2012

La Llorona?

He threw a book at me.  Not just any book, a love story.  My only escape from what my life has become.  It is as if I am in a telanovela myself.  Stuck in turmoil except there is no love left and no happy ending in the future.  I thought for some time that he would change but I have learned that I am truly stuck in this hellhole. 

I went to the creek again today.  I wonder if the Woman Hollering could be La Llorona from the story we were told about as kids, the one who drowned her children and now weeps because of her loss.  Maybe this is my message to save my son and escape the horrible life we all have in store for us.  I am pregnant again.  I have a doctor’s appointment scheduled for next week and I need to go.  I had to beg Juan Pedro to take me for the better of our baby.  He is worried that I will shame him or divulge that he beats me.  I am terrified to tell a soul about what occurs behind closed doors so even if I had the opportunity I doubt that I would I have the courage to.  I mean who would want to help me anyways?

Love,
Cleofílas


Juan Pedrito loves to play by the river