Purpose

The purpose of this blog is to look through the eyes of Cleofílas, a character from Sandra Cisneros book Women Hollering Creek.  The blog follows the timeline of Cleofílas marriage.  


Also, if you are experiencing abuse, there is a hotline with understanding and respectful individuals on the other end of the line that can help you.  

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 (800) 799-SAFE

Love Between Mother and Child

It feels weird to me looking back that I wrote to Chela so often but never even gave her the link to my blog.  I guess it was just a way to let out my feelings without the embarrassment of what my life turned out to be.  It was never the telenovela that I had imagined. I am happy to be home but I plan to leave my life in Seguín as a piece of my past that I don’t share.  No one will understand what it is like to be trapped in a horror movie.  As I watch telenovelas now I am skeptical about the love they portray, that love is made up and I learned that the hard way. I feel that true love lies in the love I feel for Juan Pedrito, the love between mother and child.  

 Love,

Cleofílas

A Definition for Women Hollering Creek

I can’t believe that I am home now.  It feels weird to be under my father’s roof again.  My father could see the bruising on my arms and back and quickly realized why I had come home.  The woman who picked me up was unlike any other woman that I have met, she was independent.  Her name was Felice, she owned a truck and lived on her own with no man to take care of her.  You know that creek that I told you about?  When we drove away from town on the way to San Antonio we passed over it and Felice let out a loud holler.  At that moment I realized that the name of the creek is what ever each individual decides it to be.  The woman Hollering can be in pain, anger, excitement, turmoil, and any other emotion that compels one to let out a good wail.  For me the creek was La Llorona hollering to leave and save Juan Pedrito and the baby on the way.  The creek is my holler out of pain from the abuse, shame from my marriage, anger for the way Juan Pedro treats our family, and joy for having the courage to leave and save my son.  


Are people in town talking about me?  I took Juan Pedrito to get a Popsicle yesterday so I am sure that the word is out that I am home.  I miss you Chela, hope to see you soon. 

Love,

Cleofílas

Bags Packed

I told the nurse, I told her about the abuse and she actually wanted to help me.  I had an overwhelming rise of emotions that caused me to breakdown and spill my guts about the horror story my life has become.  She called one of her friends to pick me up tomorrow morning and take me to a bus station in San Antonio.  I am terrified.  What if he catches me?  What if one of his friends sees me?  I can’t even imagine what he would do to me if he knew I was leaving.  I have been trembling in fear ever since I left the appointment. 


I am also worried about what people in our town will think of me for coming home.  I know my father will welcome me but life will be so different now that I have Juan Pedrito and a baby on the way.  Do you think people will think that I am a failure because I did not “stick” by my husband’s side?  If they only knew what I have been through…

Love,

Cleofílas

Juan Pedrito was playing with my camera as I was packing our bags... He does not understand what is going on.  

La Llorona?

He threw a book at me.  Not just any book, a love story.  My only escape from what my life has become.  It is as if I am in a telanovela myself.  Stuck in turmoil except there is no love left and no happy ending in the future.  I thought for some time that he would change but I have learned that I am truly stuck in this hellhole. 

I went to the creek again today.  I wonder if the Woman Hollering could be La Llorona from the story we were told about as kids, the one who drowned her children and now weeps because of her loss.  Maybe this is my message to save my son and escape the horrible life we all have in store for us.  I am pregnant again.  I have a doctor’s appointment scheduled for next week and I need to go.  I had to beg Juan Pedro to take me for the better of our baby.  He is worried that I will shame him or divulge that he beats me.  I am terrified to tell a soul about what occurs behind closed doors so even if I had the opportunity I doubt that I would I have the courage to.  I mean who would want to help me anyways?

Love,

Cleofílas

Juan Pedrito loves to play by the river